


The Problem with Warrior Parrots and Forensic Pathologists

by leavephryneforme



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: F/M, Original Character - Freeform, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-07 13:07:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11624163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leavephryneforme/pseuds/leavephryneforme
Summary: Years ago, my husband and I where watching a TV show with a forensic pathologist. In this case, a man was murdered along with his parrot, an Umbrella cockatoo, like mine. We laughed our asses off at the famous pathologist's opinion. They are meek, sweet, cuddly things.





	1. Murder with a Twist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack presents a new case. It is a brutal murder. Sometimes there is humor, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 1 - 3 can be rated General. Chapter 4 has a slight touch.  
> I'm not a writer. So sorry. It's just fun to write. I promise to take a writing class in future. Chapters 5 - 9 are appropriate for all audiences (especially people that like sappy stories with animals).

"Miss Fisher, I do beg your pardon."

"Jack, you are always welcome. How can I be of assistance? Is it a murder" she said with too much enthusiasm.

"Yes, Miss Fisher, but with a twist." Now he was smiling too much. "A man was murdered and his pet parrot was found dead as well. The medical examiner says that the parrot struggled. There was human and parrot blood on the bird but it wasn't the victims blood." He smiled. "Hugh reckons the parrot was coming to it's owners defense, fighting off the attacker."

Phryne wanted to laugh but instead smiled broadly, to protect Hugh's honor. Jack was not going to crack no matter how he adored her trying to suppress laughter. 

"We could use your formidable skills."

"Jack, I take that as a compliment. Of course you can count on me."

"Good, thank you, Miss Fisher. I'll do the pet store. You talk to the victims family." They smiled at each other.


	2. The Pet Store Angle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack's investigation is complicated.

'What's my angle with the pet store?' He thought. 'Well, it's not really a pet store. It's owned by parrot breeders. They breed and sell parrots and parrot supples. I'll go in and buy supples. I did keep Chooks at one time, after all.'

Jack was walking around the small store, looking at the different toys and feed. Someone call out to him, "Hello, how are you? Come 'ear." It was a sweet voice, like a little girl. Jack looked around. "Hello" he answered. "How are you doing? How are you doing?" Answered the voice. 

Jack chuckled when he realized it was a pretty, white parrot. He walk over to it. The bird waved at him. He laughed. A man's voice said, "She likes you. Her name is 'Samantha'

An hour later, Jack was at home with Samantha, a perch, bird food and a half a dozen bird toys. She was talking happily. However, his wallet was short by $200. He told himself that she would need less attention than a dog.


	3. Samantha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is clearly smitten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still so sorry. Pets can be fun.

"Jack, she's gorgeous!"

Jack was smiling like a school boy, running his hands through the, oh so soft, fluffy feathers of Samantha's neck. Phryne walked over to Samantha and reach to pet her head. The parrot lunged at Phryne, drawing blood from her thumb.

"Ouch!" 

"Phryne, I'm so sorry! Are you OK?" He grabbed a towel, wrapped her hand and applied pressure. Blood poured for several minutes. She was miffed and it was swollen and sore.


	4. Case Solved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The detectives figure it out. All well that ends well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. At least it's over and it was short.

"Jack, Samantha clearly hates me." She sounded hurt and angry. She had tried to make friends 3 or 4 times, always with a similar outcome. 

"I'm sorry, Phryne. I wish I could do something."

"It's OK, Jack. She clearly loves you. I get it. I understand how a women could fall for your charms."

"Do you?" 

She moved close to him. He pulled her in and they kissed passionately. Her hand slowly moved to his crotch. She ran her fingers over the front of his trousers. 

As Samantha jealously started screeching, Jack said, "Phryne, Love, I'll find her a good home. Please, don't stop doing that."

"Good idea, Inspector."


	5. Hiding Samantha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ollyjay suggested that Jack could have a pet if Phryne had lovers. So Samantha stays for now.

 

"Shhh. Samantha, SHHH. You need to be quiet. Sweetie, please." He chuckled. 

"I'm sorry, Miss Fisher. My neighbor just called. How can I help you."

"No worries, Jack. I was just passing. It's been an age."

"Yes. It seems so. You were in Tasmania visiting friends. Isn't that right?"

"Yes, Jack, childhood friends. Did you manage to keep crime under control while I was gone?"

They smiled at each other. 

"Miss Fisher, as soon as you left, surprisingly, crime, certain crimes, such as alcohol consumption and debauchery dropped. Other crime, murder, armed robbery ... remained steady. It's good to have you back though."

Phryne rolled her eyes at him. She was happy to be back and he was so grateful that she was back. 

"Jack, did you find a happy home for Samantha? I could help with that if you ... "

"A friend, his kiddies loved her." 

Phryne was so happy that she didn't have to push him about the horrible, bloodthirsty parrot. 

"Well, Jack, that's perfect. Children heal quickly, don't they?" Still miffed about the bites and scratches on her hands.

Jack took her hands to his lips. "So sorry, Miss Fisher."


	6. If you're not dead, Jack Robinson, you are in so much trouble.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why on Earth would Jack utter a name other than 'Phryne' as he passed out? That can't be good for his health.

He said something as he passed out. His men didn't understand. They carried him to the ambulance.

"Jack!" Phryne was frantic. "Hugh, what's happened?" Hugh couldn't explained.

*****

"But, I need to see him, Sister, please!"

"Miss Fisher, Inspector Robinson is resting. He hasn't asked for you. We are trying to contact his ...

"He's not married. I'm closer to him than anyone. Please. I need to see him."

"He hasn't asked for you. He has asked for someone else, Miss Fisher. Perhaps there is someone closer to him. Hm?" The nurse wasn't trying to hurt Phryne. She was protecting her patient. Phryne was shocked. No. It was not possible. 

"Miss Fisher, allow me." Mr Butler turned to the nurse. "Sister, I can contact the Inspector's mother and sister. He told me where they live. Drink this, Miss Fisher. I'll return shortly."

"Oh, Miss, I'm so sorry. Doctor Mac Millan said that the Inspector will be fine. She's just here, Miss."

"Phryne, He's alright. No need to worry. It looks worse than it is. Honest." 

He had asked for someone else. Unless he died, he was in so much trouble.


	7. Is There A Murder or Not?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Sorry, not that clever. ☹️

"Miss Fisher, I have a tray for you."

"Take it away! I don't want it!"

"Miss, Dr MacMIllen said you may be able to see the Inspector in the morning. And miss, you asked me to ..."

"What Mr B?"

"The Inspector spoke to the nurses before we arrived. He said ... "

"What? Mr B! What?"

"He said, 'Samantha' Miss. I sent Mr Yates to the Inspectors house to fetch the bird. I think he was concerned for the parrot, Miss. He meant to see that she would be taken care of before he ..."

"Oh, of course Mr Butler. We must bring Samantha here. Of course he would be distressed about Samantha. Oh, Mr B, you are an angel incarnate." She beamed. 

She thought, 'I am an idiot. He has never lied to me. Not once. I have never seen him look at another woman. Well, only the ones he had to arrest. Why am I so ridiculous? I love him. Jack Robinson, I love you. You are in so much bother.'


	8. Jealous of a Parrot, Seriously, Miss Fisher?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps an Australian Cockatoo Can Be That Lovable.

"I'm sorry, Miss Fisher, I can't."

"Jack, I never asked you to give up Samantha. It was your idea. However, I seconded it immediately."

"I know what I said, but she's actually quite nice. She's sweet. Her voice is soothing. She does tricks. She sits with me and eats chips and peas off my plate. She doesn't require walks at all hours." He was smiling broadly, at Samantha. He hadn't looked at Phryne in over 10 minutes. "Phyrne, we go out 2 or 3 times a month. That's all the time you can give me. I get it. I enjoy it. But it's 3 days a month. Samantha is here everyday, doing tricks, laughing, babbling. It's nice. She's just a bird. Why would you object to me having a bird?."

"Jack, balancing a ball on her back does not constitute a trick by any measure. Neither does holding a coin above her head and catching it in her beak. Those are just stupid pet tricks." 

Samantha arched into Jack's hand as he rubbed her neck. Phryne was fuming. "So you're in love with her then. Best wishes to you both for your future happiness."

He chuckled. "Phryne, put on these gloves. She can't bite through them."

"No, Jack. I'm going out. You and Samantha have a nice night in." Samantha picked up three coins from the table and hid them under her wing. Phryne actually heard Jack smile as she walked out. "Why are men so ridiculous?"


	9. No More Parrots Unless there are Pirates Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps the detectives are better off without a parrot. Most people would be I think. BTW, the inspiration for Samantha can be seen on my IG account.

"Jack, I'm so sorry. What happened?"

"I don't know. She was stolen or she just escaped."

"I'm sorry. I know she meant a lot to you."

"I don't want to talk about it, Phryne."

"Do you want to go for a meal or listen to music, just to think about something else for awhile?"

"No, Phryne, I do appreciate it, but I'm too upset. Besides we have already had our 3 dates this month."

"Mr Butler, the Inspector is in need of sustenance."

"Of course, Miss. I have just the thing."

"Jack, I was hoping you would agree to going out more often each month. I was hoping we would both be more generous with our time. Perhaps there doesn't have to be set rules about the number of dates."

"I think I could cope with that."

Jack would miss Samantha. But his niece and nephews loved her. He would get to see her every week at his sister's house. No, she had not run off. What woman would ever run from Jack Robinson.


End file.
